So, I forgot my Anniversary today!

Yep. How embarassing!! I came home about 40 mins ago and saw a card for me on the table. Oops! Now, the funny thing about this is that I was just telling my girlfriend about how I booked my wedding place 2 years before my actual wedding!!!!

See, hubby and I were talking marriage in the fall of 1998. We planned on getting engaged spring of 1999 and then the wedding in fall of 2000. Well, my mom went to the reception place for a holiday party, fell in love with the place and called me immediately. I agreed we needed to check it out, so we went to a Bridal show a few weeks later. Well, we completely fell in love with the place!!!

So, natually, one of the banquet managers took us upstairs to talk prices. We were talking about dates and I said not until November of 2000. He opens his calendar and tells me there were only 2 Sundays left in November!!!! He said he would need a $500 deposit to hold the date. I turned to look at my mother and she whips out her checkbook. Ta-dah!

Now, the kicker was, we didn't tell Hubby. I didn't want to freak him out. So for the next 8 months or so I played the dutiful bride to be who couldn't find a wedding place. Every single time we went out for dinner, I asked for a wedding package and kept up nonstop wedding chatter about different places.

Finally, after getting the ring, I told Hubby that I wanted to get married at X place on such and such day. So we called my mother and the following conversation took place:

Me (with hubby sitting right next to me): Hi Mom & Dad! We decided to get married at _______________! We are so excited! But we really want November 5th so can you go down and book it right away?

Mom: Wonderful! How exciting! Yes, we can go down this week and book it, no problem!
My Father: Didn't we do this already? Didn't we book it last year?
Mom: Shut up Mxxxx! Get off the phone!

Me: Great, thank you so much, we can't wait to start planning! Talk to you soon!
My Father: What's going on here? What are you talking about? We did this last November!
Mom: Bye!!

So then I "had" to run out to get ciggarettes and called my mom from the pay phone. We were hysterical laughing, and my dad is in the background complaining about how we were crazy, etc.

Now, the best part? Everyone of my friends knew about this EXCEPT my husband. He had not one clue until about 3 years or so ago. We were watching tv and a blurb for Dr. Phil came on about honesty in relationships. I turned to hubby and said, oh, I should tell you something. He was like what the fuck?

I said, I should have told you this before we got married, I'm so sorry I didn't, can you ever forgive me? He was so white as a ghost!! He kept saying, what, just say it, what? So I told him. About booking the ____________ 8 months before we got engaged!

He didn't find it as humorous as I did!!!!!

Happy Anniversary sweetie, I love you!

The latest annoying thing in my life

is that my inlaws have found me on Facebook.com. So my brother in law, his wife and the 16 year old sister in law are all on my Friends list now. The only way it could be worse, was if my computer illiterate mil figured out how to use a computer. I like Facebook, don't get me wrong. I think its a cute way to keep in touch with friends, find old friends, cute games, etc etc. BUT, its dangerous when you want to talk shit about your inlaws. So, in the spirit of bitchiness, all comments and pointless stories (including pictures of cheezy ass Christmas presents) will be kept to this site.

My current petty issue right now: So it was Bride SIL's birthday yesterday. Teen SIL wished her a HB on her wall and called her "Sis". Gag me. Then, Bride SIL wrote back to Teen SIL and called her "Sis". Gag me with a fucking spoon.

A few choice moments

Totally forgot to finish this post! Ok, so a few choice moments from our trip to the inlaws last month. Yes, its November already. I must make am effort to keep up to date with my blog. Sorry!

After a particularly long praise Jesus pre lunch speech, hubby's cousin made the funniest comment. I had to bite my tongue to keep from responding. They were talking about a cousin that neither had seen in such a long time. Cousin told Hubby that once Cousin X became a 7th Day Adventist, all he talked about what was his religion, how it was the one true religion, etc etc. Cousin said how annoying that was! I rolled my eyes and stuffed another slice of turkey in my mouth.

Um, hello? Pot? Meet Kettle. YOU and your family do the same fucking thing, just with another religion!! Then, not 3 minutes later, I shit you not, his wife pissed me off royally. Someone passed a plate of cold cuts past me and I said to my husband, oh the ham looks good. WELL, you would have thought I raised the Old Testament up in the air and screamed down with the Christians. She says (loudly) YOUR'E JEWISH! YOU CAN'T EAT HAM!!!!!!!

Complete silence at the table. Lov-ely, no? Good thing I am so polite, I just graciously smiled. HA. Ooooh, god my skin is boiling now just thinking about it.

Ok. So then the boys go practice target shooting - totally totally funny as Junior shot better then hubby and hubby's brother. Must be because he's a ham eating Jew!

MIL and SFIL went out to the gas station to return a melted tub of ice cream. (No clue people)So I was left alone with my 2 sister in laws. I sat in the living room doing crossword puzzles until they decided to make a nice cup of tea. We had NOTHING to discuss. Boring!

Then we went to The Grand Canyon of PA. OMG. Totally hysterical side point - some, well a lot, of NJ Harley Riders were there. I wanted to go hang out with them instead. There was a maple sugar stand there and VT sil went bonkers buying maple sugar cotton candy, salad dressing, ice cream, tea, etc.

This morning, I mentioned maple something and Junior threw his hands in the air and says why does she always get so excited about maple stuff, who cares. I asked him who he was talking about and he said Aunt X! I was dying!

Ok, then Saturday night, bil started a bonfire. Because that's what they do for fun in the country. Either that or tip cows, and they don't have cows, so they did a bonfire. I let Junior cook 2 marshmallows and then took him to our "cottage" for bed. Hubby said to me, oh, put him down and then come back. (It was like 8pm) I just cracked up and said no thanks.

The next day was Sunday. Hubby says oh, we will leave to drive home at noon so we can spend the morning with my family. I tell him, everyone will go to church so we should be ready to leave at 9am. He's like, no, no they won't. Guess who was right? We took a group pic on the stairs, and then they all caravanned to Church and we left. Thank GOD! Or whoever lives up there!

Hopefully I don't have to do that again for another 5 years.

A Jew goes to Pennsylvania

Not to be confused with A Tree grows in Brooklyn. So we just got back today from our uneventful weekend with the inlaws. Now, before I start, let me stress that I am not blessed with brevity so put the kids to bed, feed the hubby and make yourself a strong drink.

Back? Ok, good. Let's start with lunch on Friday. We stopped about 1.5 hours from the inlaws at a Denny's for lunch. I ordered soup and a salad. The soup was white clam chowder. First of all, Gordon Ramsay would have had a heart attack when he saw how the bowl looked! Nobody cleaned up the rims! Gordon SCREAMS at the chefs about that at least 2 times an episode. Ok, I can get over that, but the soup? Um. Chowder? Nope. It was white water with like 3 peas and a chunk of carrot in it. It.Was.Horrible. Then I get a nice salad with grilled chicken. I had asked for blue cheese dressing on the side. It came in a small bowl, spilling out and over the side. Fine, fine, I was at Denny's not the Four Seasons as my hubby kept telling me. But, the blue cheese dressing had specks in it. Little black specs. I had no clue what they were, and it certainly didn't taste like blue cheese dressing.

Suffice to say, I ain't eating at Denny's anymore. However, Junior did like the little packet of blue sugar crystals that turned his water blue. Cute.

More later.

The Bullshit is starting already.

So, we just walked in the door from dinner with my parents. We are packing for the weekend trip to hell. You should see the snacks I packed!! Anyway, my brother in law calls my husband to tell him that he and his wife (remember, they are the newlyweds) don't want to go to Corning on Saturday. So I'm like, wtf, they plan on staying at the house on sat? Yep. They plan on hanging out all freaking day at my mother in law's house. I flat out told my husband there was no way in hell I was spending the entire day at the house with them.

I don't spend entire days at my house, why would I want to do it on a trip? It's freaking pathetic. My husband is like, oh we can just hang out at my mother's house with them. I refuse. I told him this months ago, I was promised we would go out and do something.

He just came over here to put me on the phone with his mother. To talk about the grand canyon of pennsylvania. It's a gorge. Big whoop. With a zoo. I bet there's 5 animals tops.

This.Is.Going.To.Suck.Bigtime.

Forgot to tell you!

Guess where I'm going this Friday? For 3 days. Yep. East bumble fuck to spend the weekend with the inlaws from hell. Why? I don't know. My husband is off for 3 days and his mother has planned a LastName family reunion. Keep in mind she's not even a LastName anymore!! She divorced hubby's father like 20 years ago and remarried the evil amish man, so she's a DifferentLastName now. So is their 16 yo daughter. And she invited great Aunt Biddy from NY. Now Aunt Biddy isn't even a LastName anymore either people!!! Her LastName husband died about 40 years ago and she married and has since buried AnotherLastName. So. We are having a LastName family reunion with 4 different families! Ooh, and the South Korean exchange student whose name is Bonny. YEP. I don't get it either. Bonny is a Korean name??

We are leaving Fri am to get there by after lunch. Brother/Sister in law are coming Friday night. Cousins/Aunt Biddy are coming Saturday after lunch. We are leaving Sunday morning as early as I can possibly force it.

So I was promised that on Saturday we would do something, b/c last time we went to East Bumble we sat there for 3 days doing NOTHING. NOTHING. So hubby said oh sure, we can do Corning, or maybe the Grand Canyon of PA. Wow. Won't that be fun. But now, he says his mom has to stay home on Saturday to wait for the cousins. WTF? Why are we even going up there?

I am packing food for myself. It's actually a good thing they don't feed people since I'm on WW now. I want to bring liquor though. Would that be rude? Wait a second! Who cares if its rude!!!

No wireless though so you will all have to wait for the blow by blow till Sunday night or Monday at the latest. I'll bring paper and pen to take notes though!!

7.6

My new favorite numbers this week. Last week was Rosh Hashanah and we went to my mom's to eat yummy jewish food. Brisket, kreplach, stuffed cabbage. Challah. YUM. YUM. I tried to behave and stay on program. But really. Fresh Challah. The only way it could have been worse was if I made it myself. I am doing that for Hanukkah. And probably eating an entire loaf in 2 days.

So the next am was weigh in, and I wound up gaining .8 of a pound, which I was THRILLED. So this past week I was good for about 93% of the time. But there were 2 chinese buffets and 1 court jester this week so I was nervous.

So I go in this morning and get weighed and Denise says oh, you had a good week. So to me, that's like 3 or more lbs lost. She says 7.6 down. I think what the hell? I made her reweigh me. She's like yep, 7.6. I was flipping out. Who loses 7.6 pounds in one week????

So towards the end of the meeting when Toni asks if anyone is celebrating anything my arm shot straight up in the air and everyone started laughing. I was dying. It was so funny.

62.4 is the grand total. Wow. Amazing, no? I wore new jeans (with zippers!!!) and shoes and a shirt to work yesterday. Got so many compliments. I was floating on air.